Out of the woods? Never!

So my dad is back in the hospital. Anyone who follows his blog probably already knows this. He was doing fine, seemed to be getting better, and then boom, just like that he's back again. He got his catheter removed on Thursday which may have triggered some kind of infection. At any rate, I just really want him to get better. Brock likes to tell me that there is no reason to focus on the negative thoughts, and I know that makes sense. It just feels impossible not to. The worst thing about it all is this has brought me closer to the realization that someday my father will be gone. I know I've led a very blessed life, filled with love and happy memories. I just can't imagine a life without my father, not yet. A big part of me tells myself that everything will be fine. But I keep hearing the littler part of my asking, "What if it's not?" Then what will I do? Like I said I am blessed. I believe that God does what he does for a reason. But right now I just feel scared and hopeless.